THE TIMELESS ART OF SEDUCTION

First let me begin by acknowledging that today I  'JUMPED THE SHARK.'  (For those of you unfamiliar with this phrase, here is the definition of 'jumping the shark' from wikipedia:

Jumping the shark is an idiom created by Jon Hein that was used to describe the moment in the evolution of a television show when it begins a decline in quality, signaled by a particular scene, episode or aspect of the show in which the writers use some type of gimmick in an attempt to keep viewers' interest, which is taken as a sign of desperation, and is seen by viewers to be the point at which the show strayed irreparably from its original premise.  The phrase is based on a scene from a fifth-season of the sitcom Happy Days when the character Fonzie jumps over a shark while on water-skis.

Please understand that if I say that I am jumping the shark today, it is all in good fun.  My weight loss has been serious business, and the health benefits have been immeasurable, but the blog has been posted each day mostly to amuse me, and hopefully to amuse you, my readers (at least a little bit)

So without further adieu...

This picture of the character George Costanza is a goofy portrait taken by Kramer in order to impress a girl in the hilariously funny sitcom, Seinfeld.    The photo was from an episode titled: THE PACKAGE.  In this episode Kramer advises Costanza on 'The Timeless Art of Seduction' and offers to take some photographs of him that he can send to a woman that George is interested in.

There is a reason why I am giving you this information.  Yesterday my 13 year old daughter and I went to the beach here in Chicago.  We have had a tradition that has run for many years. My daughter and I go to the beach.  I dig a deep hole.  And I take some photos of my daughter in the hole.   Some of these photos when my daughter was real young are real cute.

In recent years it has been harder and harder to dig a hole deep enough, or wide enough so that my daughter could get in the hole.  Yesterday, I did manage to dig an appropriate hole in the sand.  I took some fun pictures of my daughter.  BUT THEN I GOT THE IDEA THAT I WANTED A PICTURE OR TWO OF ME IN THE HOLE.   The photo that I am going to share with you below simply reminded me too much of George Constanza and The Timeless Art of Seduction.

OK, that's it... I have had my fun... I will tell you this though... never in a million years would I have thought that this would have been an amusing pose when I tipped the scale at 309 lbs.   At 218 lbs, I guess you can see that I am having a bit of fun...

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 Sunday MENU

breakfast  apple, three poached eggs, oatmeal, center cut bacon       808 calories 
lunch        two apples, granola, wasabi peas, medjool dates, mango  850 calories
dinner       SALAD, CHICKEN THIGH APPLE, Kahuna Crunch    833 calories
SNACK   RICE CAKES, GLAD CORN                                            442 calories

total calories consumed 2934 calories

calories burned

HOME STAR TRAC ELLIPTICAL 92 minutes, level 20                     2262 calories
The duration of this workout was a major accomplishment for me...I used to dread being on this specific elliptical machine set to level 17 for just a three minutes during a so-called fat-burning session.

CALORIES BURNED 2262 CALORIES

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Saturday net calories 672 calories

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Here are just three pictures of my daughter taken yesterday... 

and finally...one more photo... 

different hole.
      same beach.
               same girl.  (2006)

BUT I DON'T WANT TO BE A PIRATE!

Today after my workout I put on a white shirt that I had packed for my trip. I should not have been surprised that it was so ill-fitting. It used to be my favorite dress shirt when I was north of 300 lbs.  It is made from particularly soft comfortable cotton fabric, the sleeve length is extra long, 37" (very hard to find, but my favorite sleeve length when I can find them)  The shirt was huge on me. The shirt was was truly two sizes too big.  I simply did not look my best today.  I reminded myself of the 'Puffy/Pirate Shirt' that Jerry Seinfeld had to wear on The Today Show as part of the fictional story from the 'Seinfeld' TV Show.

Jerry Seinfeld: 'But I don't want to be a pirate.'

For those like me who remember this funny episode with the 'low-talker' I have captured some of the original dialog from the the original script, 'The Puffy Shirt.'

KRAMER: You're not going to believe what happening with Leslie. You know, ever since you agreed to wear the puffy shirt on the Today show, she's been getting

all these orders from boutiques and department stores..

JERRY: Uh-huh.. (Finally realizes what Kramer said, he looks up) Since I said what?

KRAMER: Agreed to wear the puffy shirt. (Starts unzipping the suit cover)

JERRY: What are you talking about?

KRAMER: When you said that you'd agree to wear the puffy shirt on the Today show. (Takes the ridiculous puffy shirt out of the cover)

JERRY: (Goes up to it) This?

KRAMER: Yes!

JERRY: I agreed to wear this?!

KRAMER: Yeah, yeah.

JERRY: But, when did I do that?

KRAMER: When we went to dinner the other night.

JERRY: What are you, crazy?!

KRAMER: What were you talking about when I went to the bathroom?

JERRY: I don't know! I couldn't understand a word she was saying! I was just nodding!

KRAMER: There you go.

JERRY: Where I go? You mean she was asking me to wear this ridiculous shirt on national TV, and I said 'Yes'?!

KRAMER: Yes, yes! You said it!

JERRY: But, I - I didn't know what she was talking about. I couldn't hear her!

KRAMER: (Takes it off the hook, and starts walking toward Jerry with it. He backs defensively backs away from it) Well, she asked you.

JERRY: I - I can't wear this puffy shirt on TV! I mean, look at it! It looks ridiculous!

KRAMER: Well, you gotta wear it now! All those stores are stocking it based on the condition that you're gonna wear this on the TV show! The factory in New Jersey is already makin' them!

JERRY: They're making these?!

KRAMER: Yes, yes. This pirate trend that she's come up with, Jerry, - this is gonna be the new look for the 90's. You're gonna be the first pirate!

JERRY: (Like a little kid) But, I don't want to be a pirate!

The shirt I wore today, wasn't quite as 'puffed-up' but it still managed to look a bit ridiculous on me.  The neck size was nearly 3" too big.   Looks, like 'Goodwill' has another donation coming from me.

My shirt wasn't quite as 'puffed up' as Jerry's - still, it was clearly two sizes too big.

WEDNESDAY MENU

breakfast      SHMURAH MATZO, Pink Salmon packet                                          270 calories

lunch            Pink Salmon packet                                                                              180 calories

dinner          SUBWAY chicken spinach salad, Italian Wedding Soup, Asparagus   540 calories

total calories consumed 990 calories

CALORIES BURNED

YMCA 5:30AM elliptical machine, INTERVAL setting, 2.77 distance'  - 35 minutes 470 calories

Yesterday I had to be at the YMCA @ 5:30AM in order to give myself time to workout and shower and then drive 90 minutes to my 8:30AM appointment.  I suspected that I would have no time between my two appointments - so my lunch was a PINK SALMON packet that I ate while my first appointment was winding down in the mid-afternoon.

WEDNESDAY NET CALORIES   520 CALORIES