HAPPY FATHER'S DAY

Although my daughter is 14 years old, this will be my 15th father's day as she was born in March. Being a Dad is the best thing in the world. I thought I was living some kind of fulfilling life before I became a father - but it was an illusion. I love being a Dad. Today is also a day to contemplate how much I miss my own Dad. I don't know if there is a human who ever lived who can truly appreciate the days in our lives as they are happening, before they are swept away with the passage of time. It seemed that I was in constant conflict with my Dad when I was growing up. I am convinced that as I got older I took advantage of many opportunities to express to my Dad how much I appreciated and loved him.  Here is my advice to you: If you have a parent that you have been meaning to reconcile with or express some deep feelings - don't wait until tomorrow. Sometimes there is no tomorrow. With my own Dad, I didn't wait until a tomorrow that never came. I consider myself lucky. 

MORE THOUGHTS ON 'TOMORROW'

During all those years that I was packing on the pounds and told myself that I would change my lifestyle 'tomorrow' - I was really 'rolling the dice.'  I got lucky with my health. I was able to make changes before I had a debilitating illness or other physical limitations. I know that if I had waited long enough to change my lifestyle, I might have run out of 'tomorrows'. I was lucky with my health. I made big changes before I ran out of options. If you are contemplating making changes in your life - don't wait until 'tomorrow'.  Today is the day to start. But if you don't start today - then you should start 'tomorrow'. Let's put it this way: It should never be your plan to start tomorrow. 

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Today my family wants to get up early and go the the flea market. I do always enjoy this as it is fun to see everyone up and about early in the morning. I enjoy walking down the scores of aisles of merchandise. Every once in a while a treasure is found that I previously didn't realize that I couldn't live without. As long as the weather is nice and the sun is shining - I will be enjoying myself. I should be accumulating some leisurely steps - but nothing to write home about. Later in the day, I need to get in my car and drive to Cincinnati, Ohio for an early Monday morning appointment.  With that in mind, I was resolved to get in a little extra exercise in on Saturday. I completed three sessions on my elliptical machine. (and I watched a lot of netflix Star Trek while I was doing it.)

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session I : 99 minutes, 1387 calories

session II : 99 minutes, 1269 calories

session III : 97 minutes, 1221 calories

Your Food Diary For:

Saturday, June 18, 2016

BREAKFAST	Calories	Carbs	Fat	Protein	Sodium	Sugar
Ritz fresh stacks - crackers, 15 crackers	240	30	14	3	315	3
Sage - Red Delicious Apple	95	25	0	1	2	19
Grits - Grits, 2 packet	200	44	3	4	620	2
3 Egg Omelette - Ham and Cheese	400	1	30	40	1,225	0
	935	100	47	48	2,162	24
L U N C H
Ham & Cheese Sandwich White Bread (2)	500	56	14	38	2,500	10
	500	56	14	38	2,500	10
D I N N E R
Chipotle - Burrito, 1 burrito	1,000	104	39	60	1,855	7
	1,000	104	39	60	1,855	7
S N A C K S
Original Cafe Mix Granola	540	60	32	12	140	32
	540	60	32	12	140	32
Totals	2,975	320	132	158	6,657	73
Your Daily Goal	5,184	648	172	260	2,300	194
Remaining	2,209	327	40	102	-4,356	121
	Calories	Carbs	Fat	Protein	Sodium	Sugar
	*You've earned 3,254 extra calories from exercise today

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       Your Exercise Diary for:

Saturday, June 18, 2016

Cardiovascular	Minutes	Calories Burned
STAR TRAC ELLIPTICAL	99	1,387
STAR TRAC ELLIPTICAL	99	1,269
STAR TRAC ELLIPTICAL	97	1,221
MFP iOS calorie adjustment	N/A	-623
Daily Total / Goal	296 / 30	3,254 / 590
Weekly Total / Goal	1059 / 210	12,994 / 4,130

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ANGST

Before I begin my mostly mediocre mental musings for the day, I have personal messages for two very important people (in chronological order). Let me wish a very Happy Mother's Day to my Mother who brought me into existence and has provided some direction and kindness to me for nearly 59 years.  I would like to also wish a heartfelt Happy Mother's day to my Wife, who has been a terrific mother to my daughter.  I don't say 'thank you' enough for all the good you have done in shaping our daughter's character - this day has a way of focusing the mind on what it important. 

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ansgst

äNG(k)st

noun

1. a feeling of deep anxiety or dread, typically an unfocused one about the human condition or the state of the world in general.

   
   

   synonyms:

   anxiety, fear, apprehension, worry, foreboding, trepidation, malaise,disquiet, disquietude, unease, uneasiness

   • informal

     a feeling of persistent worry about something trivial.

     "my recent small incremental weight gains have caused me angst"

     
     

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The angst felt by Godzilla in this cartoon is more or less how I have been feeling lately.

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Back in the 'old days' last year when I was dropping weight each week, I fantasized about a career change. I foresaw myself as a weight loss guru. All of sudden, weight loss seemed within my grasp and fairly straightforward. I thought I could help other people. In fact, that was part of the reason that I started this blog. I thought that the blog would keep me focused and that others that might visit this blog would find some inspiration. I am being completely serious. Now I am in crisis, as I have found it increasingly difficult to control my appetite. Yesterday my scale indicated a 241.9 pounds - that was definitely a measurement sufficient in ruining my day. This morning, my scale indicated 240.0 pounds. I know that I did not lose two pounds overnight - just in the same way that I did not believe that my weight was really nearly 242 pounds yesterday morning.  Nevertheless, it is amazing how this particular number has improved my outlook on life. If I remain positive and rational, I should be able to steer myself in the right direction again. I might be able to explain my extra difficulties in recent weeks by the inability to exercise at the level that I had previously maintained. Going forward I have to believe that I will have more positive results. At least in the past 24 hours my 'angst' level has been reduced from where it was yesterday. 240 looks a lot better than 241.9.

Your Food Diary For:

Saturday, May 7, 2016

BREAKFAST	Calories	Carbs	Fat	Protein	Sodium	Sugar
Malt-o-meal Cereal - Honey Nut Scooters	480	96	6	12	840	36
Sage - Red Delicious Apple, 1 medium apple	95	25	0	1	2	19
	575	121	6	13	842	55
L U N C H
Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwich	520	70	30	18	700	26
	520	70	30	18	700	26
D I N N E R
Chunky - Manhattan Clam Chowder	240	36	6	10	1,600	6
Jason's Deli - Flatbread Crackers	500	60	20	20	950	10
	740	96	26	30	2,550	16
S N A C K S
Apples - Apples, 3 medium apple	240	66	0	0	0	48
	240	66	0	0	0	48
Totals	2,075	353	62	61	4,092	145
Your Daily Goal	2,268	283	75	114	2,300	85
Remaining	193	-70	12	53	-1,791	-59
	Calories	Carbs	Fat	Protein	Sodium	Sugar
	*You've earned 338 extra calories from exercise today

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DENNIS PRAGER IS NOT A 'FUN' GUY - BUT HE IS HAPPY

I have spent the past few weeks trying to unravel the enigma of my own mind.  After losing 80 lbs seven years ago - what part of me allowed myself to gain every pound back and tack on nine more?   I have noticed that there are no self-help books at the bookstore with guidelines for gaining weight.  Apparently, most human beings are fully capable of this weight gaining skill without any specialized training.

I cringe when I think about what I have been eating for the past many years.
I cringe when I think about the portion sizes I enjoyed.
I cringe when I think about how often I would get junk from a vending machine late at night.
I cringe when I think that I could find a 'breakfast' in the selections offered by a vending machine.
I cringe when I think about my attitude at a breakfast buffet. (No, it's not an eating contest!)

WHY DID I EAT LIKE THIS?

The answer is quite simple.   IT WAS FUN TO EAT LIKE THAT.
Why would anyone eat a whole pint of ice-cream at one sitting.   IT IS FUN TO EAT.
Why would anyone drink a large high calorie milkshake?  IT IS FUN TO DRINK MILKSHAKES.
Why would anyone eat 10 'Sliders' at White Castle?  IT IS FUN TO EAT SLIDERS.
Why would anyone eat a giant slice of seven-layer chocolate cake?  IT IS FUN TO EAT CAKE. 
Why would anyone visit a vending machine at 11PM at night?  IT IS FUN TO EAT CANDY.

Would anyone feel happier after eating in this fashion?  NEVER. 

In fact, I have been doing the opposite lately.  Certainly it is NOT FUN to avoid tasty, high-calorie foods and drinks and candies and cookies and ice-creams and milkshakes.

I am HAPPIER when I remember to avoid these foods and I remember how much this 'SACRIFICE' is improving my waistline and my health and my attitude.

Dennis Prager, host of 'The Dennis Prager Show' broadcast nationally from L.A.'s KRLA 870 AM radio is my favorite talk radio host, author,  and thinker.   In Prager's 1998 book, 'Happiness is a Serious Problem' (still in print) he addresses this issue:

"FUN THAT DECREASES HAPPINESS 

There is a second type of fun, one that can actually decrease happiness.  I am not referring to anything either immoral or illegal, such as taking drugs.  I am referring to nothing more sinister than, for example, eating fattening food. Eating delicious foods is a great deal of fun, but for many people these foods are more a source of unhappiness than of happiness.  Which group is happier - those who have fun eating all the fattening foods they enjoy, or those who have learned to usually deprive themselves of that fun and keep the body they want?"   (Dennis Prager)

That's it!  That is why I gained every pound back that I had lost.  That is why I gained all that weight in the first place.  It is fun to eat.  It is fun to overeat.  It is fun to eat three slices of pizza. It is fun to drink a giant milkshake.  It is fun to have cookies, cake and ice-cream when planting oneself on the sofa to sit back and enjoy a movie.  Fun is not the same as happiness.  I never felt happier after eating like this.  In fact, the more 'fun' I had eating, the more and more unhappy I became.

Since way, way back on December 24, 2014 I have reversed course.   It is NOT FUN to deprive myself of every sweet delicious food concoction that one can imagine.

As a result of my self-deprivation of junk food, high calorie food and simply too much of all food - I am overwhelmed with a feeling of great HAPPINESS.  

I guess I must admit that I am having less fun - BUT I SURE AM HAPPIER!

The thing is, since I am happier, I am having fun.  
Almost seems to negate the entire premise of my argument.
Believe me, it does not.

And one more thing...I don't know Dennis Prager any better than any of his one million+ radio audience...nevertheless, I am sure he really is a very fun guy! He is definitely a happy guy!

I briefly met Dennis Prager when he was in Chicago on November 3, 2012  (back then I probably weighed slightly under 300 lbs - but who knows - In those days I wasn't jumping onto a scale too often - or at all!)

MONDAY'S MENU

Monday was another low calorie day (DAY 27) as they have all been since December 24, 2014.

BREAKFAST   three poached eggs with two slices of turkey 'bacon'                       280 CALORIES
LUNCH            2 cups Healthy 8 Chopped Veggie Mix, CHICKEN SAUSAGE            200 CALORIES
DINNER            Premium Black Angus Steak Tips 4 oz, 3 Cups Baby Spinach
                            w/two tablespoons of Marie's Balsamic Vinaigrette Salad Dressing            255  CALORIES            
                               
 TOTAL CALORIC CONSUMPTION SUNDAY        735 CALORIES

I had Midnight 12:30AM morning 4 mile walk @ 4 MPH for 60 minutes - BURNED 600 CALORIES

Since Monday was a holiday and I was home for the day, I visited the treadmill again in the afternoon.

1:30PM  4 mile walk @ 4 MPH for 60 minutes - BURNED ANOTHER 600 CALORIES.

NET CALORIC INTAKE WAS NEGATIVE 465 CALORIES

I think that I can assume that a lot of the energy needs of my body yesterday came from my extraordinarily ample storehouse of fat cells.

The hardest thing for me to resist these days, is not chocolate, or a Klondike Ice Cream Bar - it IS the urge to step onto a scale.   For the time being, I would like to weigh myself once per week and I am sticking to that plan. 

                     LUNCH  2 cups Chopped Veggie Mix & CHICKEN SAUSAGE  200 CALORIES

DINNER  Black Angus Steak w/Organic Baby Spinach & Vinaigrette Dressing 255 CALORIES

HAPPY NEW WEIGHT!

Eight days ago, I visited my doctor for a 'wellness' exam. I stepped on a scale in the office with my clothes on and weighed 313.8 lbs.    It is currently January 1, 2015 (eight days later).  I just weighed myself with my clothes on and the scale indicated 301.8 lbs.   My scale is not broken - I have lost 12 pounds as a result of my efforts in the past 8 days.  Of course I wanted to know what my true weight is, without clothing, and that result was 297 lbs.  Now I know that my real weight  on December 24, 2014 was 'only' 309 lbs. Today I am 297 lbs.  I am statistically, medically and in reality obese.  That is not important.  I FEEL LIKE A NEW MAN!  I AM A NEW MAN!  It will be many more months until I can remove myself from the obese classification.   In my mind, I am already a healthy, thin person.   I am starting 2015 in the midst of a life changing experience.  My journey is just beginning.  This morning, I am bursting with happiness.  Happy New Year!

2015 begins with me at 297 lbs, I have already lost 12 lbs!