Sunday, May 8, 2016

ANGST



Before I begin my mostly mediocre mental musings for the day, I have personal messages for two very important people (in chronological order). Let me wish a very Happy Mother's Day to my Mother who brought me into existence and has provided some direction and kindness to me for nearly 59 years.  I would like to also wish a heartfelt Happy Mother's day to my Wife, who has been a terrific mother to my daughter.  I don't say 'thank you' enough for all the good you have done in shaping our daughter's character - this day has a way of focusing the mind on what it important. 
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ansgst

äNG(k)st
noun
  1. a feeling of deep anxiety or dread, typically an unfocused one about the human condition or the state of the world in general.

    • informal
      a feeling of persistent worry about something trivial.
      "my recent small incremental weight gains have caused me angst"

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The angst felt by Godzilla in this cartoon is more or less how I have been feeling lately.


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Back in the 'old days' last year when I was dropping weight each week, I fantasized about a career change. I foresaw myself as a weight loss guru. All of sudden, weight loss seemed within my grasp and fairly straightforward. I thought I could help other people. In fact, that was part of the reason that I started this blog. I thought that the blog would keep me focused and that others that might visit this blog would find some inspiration. I am being completely serious. Now I am in crisis, as I have found it increasingly difficult to control my appetite. Yesterday my scale indicated a 241.9 pounds - that was definitely a measurement sufficient in ruining my day. This morning, my scale indicated 240.0 pounds. I know that I did not lose two pounds overnight - just in the same way that I did not believe that my weight was really nearly 242 pounds yesterday morning.  Nevertheless, it is amazing how this particular number has improved my outlook on life. If I remain positive and rational, I should be able to steer myself in the right direction again. I might be able to explain my extra difficulties in recent weeks by the inability to exercise at the level that I had previously maintained. Going forward I have to believe that I will have more positive results. At least in the past 24 hours my 'angst' level has been reduced from where it was yesterday. 240 looks a lot better than 241.9.


Your Food Diary For:

Saturday, May 7, 2016
BREAKFAST Calories Carbs Fat Protein Sodium Sugar
Malt-o-meal Cereal - Honey Nut Scooters 480 96 6 12 840 36
Sage - Red Delicious Apple, 1 medium apple 95 25 0 1 2 19

575 121 6 13 842 55
L U N C H
Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwich 520 70 30 18 700 26

520 70 30 18 700 26
D I N N E R
Chunky - Manhattan Clam Chowder 240 36 6 10 1,600 6
Jason's Deli - Flatbread Crackers 500 60 20 20 950 10

740 96 26 30 2,550 16
S N A C K S
Apples - Apples, 3 medium apple 240 66 0 0 0 48

240 66 0 0 0 48
Totals 2,075 353 62 61 4,092 145
Your Daily Goal 2,268 283 75 114 2,300 85
Remaining 193 -70 12 53 -1,791 -59
Calories Carbs Fat Protein Sodium Sugar
*You've earned 338 extra calories from exercise today         

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