IRONIC IRONY

I wish I could say that I am being treated for anemia (iron deficiency) but I am not.  My gastroenterologist is still searching for the source of the anemia - still trying to discover how and where I am managing to lose iron (blood) within my body.  That's not really treatment. Thankfully, my colonoscopy and endoscopy resulted in completely normal findings and nothing regarding the source of my anemia was discovered during these rather invasive procedures.  Yesterday, was my follow-up appointment with my doctor and (naturally) more tests were ordered.   I was sent for yet another blood test to determine if my anemia has stabilized or accelerated.  In addition, I need to return to the hospital for a CAPSULE ENDOSCOPY.  This means another day of having nothing but clear liquids on the day prior to this examination. As I understand it, I will be essentially swallowing a camera early in the morning - as well as required to wear some kind of belt all day long which will presumably record what the camera is 'seeing.'  I return to the hospital later that same day to return the belt.  (Apparently, I get to keep the camera!)

During my visit yesterday I was again asked if I am experiencing any symptoms of anemia.  Sluggishness, tiredness, unexplained weight loss?   (Of course I have reminded my doctors that I have lost 90 pounds since December - but that this was purposeful!)  For nearly a decade prior to this year - I was very sluggish.  For nearly a decade prior to this year, I have been tired.  For nearly a decade, I have been very physically unfit. It sure is IRONIC to be examined for anemia when I feel better and more healthy that I ever have.  It sure is IRONIC to be examined for anemia when I have more energy that I ever have had. And it sure is IRONIC to be examined for anemia when I have never been more physically fit than I am right now.

I am being examined for ANEMIA.  (IRON DEFICIENCY)
I have never been more ENERGETIC.
This is what is known as an IRONIC IRONY.

I cannot think of the word, irony, without recalling a specific scene from 'Seinfeld' which took place between Elaine and another woman on a New York City subway on an episode that first aired on January 8, 1992.

'The Subway' (Seinfeld)

The woman from 'The Subway' episode of Seinfeld who couldn't quite understand irony

Woman: I started riding these trains in the '40s. Those days a man would give up their seat for a woman. Now we're liberated and we have to stand.
Elaine: It's ironic.
Woman: What's ironic?
Elaine: This -- that we've come all this way, we've made all this progress, but, you know, we've lost the little things, the niceties.
Woman: No, I mean what does "ironic" mean?

- Elaine and woman on subway, in "The Subway"

 

THURSDAY MENU

breakfast    two salmon burgers, two apples, KIND fruit & nut bar                                 600 calories
lunch          SUBWAY double chicken salad, apple, KIND peanut butter bar                  500 calories
dinner         JIMMY JOHN'S UNWICH #14, two apples                                                 390 calories

CALORIES CONSUMED 1490 CALORIES

CALORIES BURNED

STAIR CLIMBING       (ground floor to 25th floor)        65 calories
STAIR DESCENDING (25th floor to ground floor)        15 calories
ELLIPTICAL MACHINE (NEW SETTING - MANUAL - LEVEL '16')    662 CALORIES

TOTAL CALORIES BURNED 742 CALORIES

THURSDAY NET CALORIES     748 CALORIES

I did something different on the elliptical machine tonight for the first time.   I have almost always set the machine to 'calorie burn' with a high water mark of 'level 18' resistance.   During the course of a 30 minute workout on this setting - the resistance goes up and down three times, only reaching level 18 for just three minutes in the middle of the 30 minute session.

Tonight I set the machine to 'manual' and set the 'resistance' to 16.  The resistance was unchanged for the entire 30 minutes (there are two minutes of 'cool down' tacked onto the end of the session) and the  workout was much more challenging.   And the 'rewards' were likewise greater.  The machine recorded that I 'burned' 662 calories during this session.  Since I initiated this workout by climbing up and down 25 flights of stairs first - it was an extremely productive workout.

DOES THIS REALLY SOUND LIKE A GUY SUFFERING FROM ANEMIA?

NOW YOU KNOW WHY I CALL THIS AN IRONIC IRONY.

Nothing is written in Stone?  Really?   TELL THAT TO MOSES!

This sign has to be purposefully funny, right?

This one took me a moment to figure out....That's not just a shoe - It's a 'CROC'!

I have tried, really tried to keep POLITICS far away from  the MARC JACOBS WEIGHT LOSS JOURNAL.
APPARENTLY, TODAY I FAILED TO DO THAT.

By now you have figured it out - I am not a supporter of our President. (or Democrats)
...and believe me....Republicans ain't so great either!

And finally, the lyrics from the Alanis Morissette song, IRONIC

An old man turned ninety-eight
He won the lottery and died the next day
It's a black fly in your Chardonnay
It's a death row pardon two minutes too late
And isn't it ironic... don't you think

It's like rain on your wedding day
It's a free ride when you've already paid
It's the good advice that you just didn't take
Who would've thought... it figures

Mr. Play It Safe was afraid to fly
He packed his suitcase and kissed his kids goodbye
He waited his whole damn life to take that flight
And as the plane crashed down he thought
"Well isn't this nice..."
And isn't it ironic... don't you think

It's like rain on your wedding day
It's a free ride when you've already paid
It's the good advice that you just didn't take
Who would've thought... it figures

Well life has a funny way of sneaking up on you
When you think everything's okay and everything's going right
And life has a funny way of helping you out when
You think everything's gone wrong and everything blows up
In your face

A traffic jam when you're already late
A no-smoking sign on your cigarette break
It's like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife
It's meeting the man of my dreams
And then meeting his beautiful wife
And isn't it ironic...don't you think
A little too ironic...and, yeah, I really do think...

It's like rain on your wedding day
It's a free ride when you've already paid
It's the good advice that you just didn't take
Who would've thought... it figures

Life has a funny way of sneaking up on you
Life has a funny, funny way of helping you out
Helping you out